What do I have to do to get a drink around here?

Before saying anything else, I know that bars in the US rigourously enforce ID checking before serving alcohol to anyone. American friends have told me that you could hobble in with a zimmerframe, a grey beard down to your toes and a fresh-faced barman might still have a nagging doubt that you had reached the legal age. Armed with this information and despite the fact that two day's short of my 34th birthday most observers would suspect my early 20's were well behind me, I always carry my new shiny standard EU model driving license around with me when I'm out of a night in the States.

It's easy to guess what's coming next. My Stanford flatmate, Knud, and I wandered into Palo Alo last night looking for a beer to accompany our conversation on sorting out world problems. Our first port was the Gordon Biersch micro-brewery (fancy website here) and we lost no time finding two fine, comfortable stools right at the bar. "ID please" said the fresh-faced barman. "No problem" sez I, brandishing with a flourish my recently-renewed driving license. And that's when we came to the problem.

He squinted at the license, first holding it close to his nose. Then, as if it gave off a particularly nastly smell, he shrivelled up his face staring at the document from arm's length and said, with scorn reserverd for those he knows are trying to trick him, "I don't recognise this document, have you got a real identification". "No, thats it", said I. "I'll have to check with a manager", says he. Two minutes later he's back and, with much disdain, informs me that he could not accept "this piece of paper" and consequently he would not serve me a beer.

You dont need to read the details of my reaction. Still being sober as a judge, I politely acknowledged the problem but requested to see a manager. He said that he in fact was a manager etc., etc., etc. No luck. Then the walk of shame as we leave our comfy stools and head for the door, beerless.

This is Palo Alto, the town that serves Stanford University. The guy behind the bar is most likely a student himself. My driving license is (one of) the official driving license models for the European Union, not just Ireland. The reason they gave for not accepting it - "this is just a piece of paper". They may as well have added - "how can we take that crazy pink piece of paper seriously". Maybe the folks at Gordon Biersch had never seen a European driving license. Maybe I was the first guy to present them with this crazy pink thing. Who knows? No problem. But the bizarre image of the barman staring with scorn at the license, as if it personally offended him lingers. Zero for customer service. Zero for common sense. In total, a big zero for the Gordon Biersch micro brewery in Palo Alto from Matt, the youthful-looking, Irishman abroad.

Happy ending: we went across the street to the Rose and Crown (reviewed here) and without any fuss had our few pints, solved a few minor and major world problems, before toddling home.